School Bus Stories, Episode 1-The Spit That Went Around the World

So Billy (B. Vice) and I were just discussing how riding the school bus throughout your primary education span builds character that is noticeable by those that have done it. For all you former bus riders out there, I know you have many stories of horror, humor, and everything in between. I would like to share the first (of hopefully many) stories of my bus experiences. I hope everyone else on this awesome blog can contribute a story or two-if nothing else, this would help us all reminisce back to our precious childhood.

"The Spit That Went Around the World"

It was a Friday afternoon, and I absolutely could not wait to get home after a long week of school. Playing football and swimming in the pool afterwards followed by a solid Nintendo 64 session was mandatory for this 8th grader and every minute longer on the route meant a precious minute's delay towards the itinerary.

My friends and I had the back of the bus locked down-a right of passage for 8th graders of course. Since we were the cool kids (we decide who is cool-we are 8th graders!), a couple of sixth graders with future swagger aspirations decided to sit there with us. One of them was an annoying Bangladeshi kid (first of all let me tell you how rare it is that TWO, let alone one, Bengali kids are on a bus en route to West Tampa), whom I will refer to as Kep. He had a knack for getting under the older kids skin-just imagine a typical kid that would get picked on by the older heads-short, scrawny, and a firecracker mouth. He usually cost me nothing-I paid him no mind.

It was already a super breezy day, but this kid, who is in the second to last seat of the bus decides to click both tabs on the windows and lower it even more. "Leave it be Kep, that's not a good idea", I said. Of course he's not going to listen.

Then, I hear him cleaning his sinuses to the high heavens. Large inhale, large inhale, large inhale (the kind you do to clear your nostrils when you have a cold). He sticks his head out of the window-fire in the hole!

For those of you who are accustomed with physics, you can imagine what happens to a hack of "loogie" on a windy day when a very large window is open. It looped right around the second to last seat to the last seat. Yes, I was fortunate enough to be the closest to the seat-and now had a new white and green blob design on my Hilfiger tee.

Enraged with anger but quick to repress myself from expressing it physically, I grunted and began to pull notebook paper out of my book bag to wipe the snot. The taunts by Kep didn't help, and my homeboy John could see my visible disgust and anger. "I'll get him Back man," he said.

John was usually dropped off two stops ahead of Rivergardens. Kep kept up the taunts and was quick to call John's statement a bluff. When John's stop passed and John didn't get off the bus, Kep suddenly became expressionless.

What happened at our stop (which was the final stop at my beloved apartment complex Rivergardens, where about 15 kids usually got off) was beyond hilarious. Kep tried to run, but John, about 5 foot 8, 165 lbs, was quick to grab and retain him.



Yes ladies and gentlemen, for those of you familiar with wrestling, the move above patented by Lex Luger is the torture rack. Imagine that frail smack talking brown kid waving up and down in the air like he's a flag on veterans day. He got torture racked for a solid minute, and I guffawed and cherished every second of it. Needless to say, Kep never spat out the window again, especially around us. I thank John for having my back that day-people don't forget events (which in retrospect is hilarious) nor a sign of friendship such as this.

As for Kep-he grew up to be way more mature and a friend of mine. That frail little kid has grown up to a man amongst men, having served in Afghanistan and Iraq as a frontline medic.

You truly cannot predict where life will take you, but be thankful for the people that are present in the present, for tomorrow with them is not guaranteed.

I hope I didn't soung too corny-I just told the story the way I remembered it. I hope I can see some other real dudes' school bus stories on here soon. Adios.